So, before I get into what I know is a very controversial topic, there are a few things I want to mention.
First I want to say that I am a sinner saved by God’s grace. What I share here is based on the faith I’ve come to in the last 14 years. It’s not the same faith I had as a child. It’s a faith where I have come into relationship with Jesus from getting into recovery. This verse says it all,
“For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast.” Ephesians 2:8
What I share is not self-righteousness. “God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.” 2 Corinthians 5:21
I am well aware that there will be some of you that have followed me for years who will want to say goodbye because of what I share below. Actually, I’m pretty sure if you know me you probably already know what my view was going to be so…
I want to share two images —
The first is this mug that I mentioned in my post this morning. I think what this coffee cup says is based on whoever is holding it. I’ve heard a lot in the last few days about how women are in an uproar about this decision and that frustrates me because I don’t fall into that “every women” category. There are many of us who believe that protecting life is what makes us strong women. It’s not necessarily culture’s idea of strong women.
That brings me to these two images of Wonder Woman. When I look at these I think about putting on my armor of God to fight the enemy and go into battle to fight for the lost.
I’ve seen people post these images in their fight for Roe after the decision. I’m not part of that “every woman.” I’m ready to fight for the lives and bodies of women in a Godly way.
Let me just say, if you were to tell me right now that you wanted to have an abortion, I would share with you what I believe and try to help you make the choice for life. But I know that you have free will and the decision would be up to you. You really do have a right to decide that. I couldn’t stop you from doing it. All I could do is, be there with you as you decide and love you no matter what. If you came to me and said I had one, I wouldn’t judge you. I’d immediately see it as a chance for God’s grace to enter into your story when you are ready.
Like I said, I am a sinner saved by grace. I didn’t get to this relationship with Jesus I have now and the trust I have in him, because of performance. It was because of my brokenness and bad decisions. I brought all the shame and regret to Him and He washed it away. But I had to be willing to do that. The beautiful part is Jesus doesn’t force it. He just waits.
I love the imagery portrayed in Revelation 3:20,
“Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice, and opens the door, I will come in and eat with that person, and they with me.”
Here’s the thing.
The enemy, (yes the devil) has been all over this issue of abortion since Roe v. Wade came into being on January 22, 1973. He’s taken a lot of lives.
In fact ever since the decision was made, this is the verse that has been in my mind:
“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life and have it to the full.” John 10:10
Those three words give me the heebeegebies.
Everything about those who are fighting for abortion is about fighting for death, fighting for the right to kill. Not just that, it’s fighting for the right to kill something in your own body, in your own womb. It’s speaking death not just over your body, but your life and as I’ve come to know who the enemy is more I’ve learned how much he just loves that.
Here’s the other thing about this issue. I just mentioned the womb. I believe that is why this is such a deeply personal topic to all of us women, because you are talking about the most sacred part of our bodies – where God plants the seed of life, where it grows inside and becomes a child in the process. Because of this deeply personal nature, people are passionate. You aren’t going to change anyone’s opinion.
But you know what can? Life.
Life happens and it presents us with choices. Every one of us has a story about our womb and a reason for fighting to protect it.
Honestly, I really didn’t have an opinion on this topic for a long time.
As a 45-year old mom of an almost 3-year old today, I sometimes look at the lives of my friends who had kids way earlier than me in their twenties and think, “Whoa. No way. There is no way I could have had done that. I wasn’t ready.”
To be honest, I don’t think you are ever “ready.” But, it’s not about you – it’s about the life IN you! There’s nothing like kids to make you realize life isn’t just about you!
I know when I was in my twenties, when I was working in DC and at the White House, I was at the “peak” of my career but I was active in multiple addictions. Food. Marathons. Men. I made some bad decisions. The shame I carried about them haunted me for a while…until I brought them to Jesus.
In fact, the thing that started to change my heart at that time was turning on a Christian radio station, reading Purpose Driven Life and getting a Bible. I was desperate and thank God I was.
But it wasn’t for a few years that I would finally reach out to the Lord for help.
Here’s my point – it was only the Lord that could redeem it. It was only the Lord who could heal my heart of the pain of my consequences.
Nothing, absolutely nothing else – could make me feel better about the mistakes I’d made under the influence of alcohol.
I thank God I never had to decide if I was going to have an abortion or not.
But I had a few scares. So, if you have gone through this and it was a hard decision for you, I can’t even begin to imagine what it would be like to face that. I respect the monumental task of making that decision especially when you are emotionally immature, like I was.
In my twenties, I didn’t really know the Lord except going to church on Sundays. I pray God would have put women in my life to help me make an informed decision based on their experiences and the wisdom from the Word.
I pray I would have met a woman who’d kept the baby. I pray I would have met a woman who’d given her’s up for adoption, and I pray I would have met a woman who’d had the abortion. I pray the Lord would have helped me make the decision listening to their experiences, not just my fear of it affecting my ambition or my life. (Funny, I know these women today and their redemption stories are beyond beautiful.)
And that’s the thing. I think our society wants to be rid of consequences of actions. Like, “I had sex with a random, got pregnant and it’s time to get rid of it because it’s about what I want.” In fact, you even see it in mainstream media and television (shocker.)
It’s become just too easy to get rid of consequences.
To be honest, you can run from your consequences as far as you want, but they won’t go away. Eventually, you will have to face them. You know the saying, “Wherever you go, there you are.”?
The further I ran, the closer my sins came. When I went to treatment, the first time I talked to the guy that ran my treatment center he said, “So tell me the consequences you’ve had with alcohol,” and it was like a freight train hit me. I didn’t want to face them. But I had to because running (literally and figuratively) wasn’t working anymore. Chasing men. Overeating. Dieting. None of it was working anymore.
So, you can think that an abortion will just make it all go away and obliterate the consequences. But even if you do decide to abort, you will still have that ache in your body. No matter how hard you try to fight it with your mind, your heart will ache for that life that was taken from your womb. In fact, it doesn’t even have to be your womb. There is a man I know well who has shared with me that he made the decision with his partner years ago that she would have one. His heart still aches deeply when he thinks about it. I have another friend, who never talked about it because of the shame she felt. You can take the action, but it doesn’t take away the consequence. But the Lord can redeem it.
So whether you decide to keep the child and raise them, or have your family help you raise them; or you decide to give them up for adoption; or you decide to abort – there are consequences attached. You either have to raise a child early, or know your child is walking around in the world being raised by someone else, or know your child never got to grow up. Pain is attached. I believe if you let the Lord into it, He can make what is broken, beautiful.
So really this isn’t about us being “free” to have sex. It’s about us being “free” from the consequences of our decisions. Free to live a life in Christ that you don’t want to do when you are busy sleeping around.
In my new book, I share two verses that the Lord used around food and weight which blew me out of the water and I think they really apply to sex too:
“I have the right to do anything,” you say – but not everything is beneficial. “I have the right to do anything – but not everything is constructive.” 1 Corinthians 10:23
And I’ll just add 24 since I think it really applies here, “No one should seek their own good, but the good of others.”
It’s not all about us just being “free” to have casual sex! How is that freedom?
The second verse was “I have the right to do anything, “ you say – but not everything is beneficial. “I have the right to do anything” – but I will not be mastered by anything. 1 Corinthians 6:12
But then, if I add in verses 13-17,
“You say, ‘Food for stomach and the stomach for food, and God will destroy them both.’ The body, however is not meant for sexual immortality but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body. By his power God raised the Lord from the dead, and he will raise us also. Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ himself? Shall I then take the members of Christ and unite them with a prostitute? Never! Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, “The two will become one flesh.” But whoever is united with the Lord is one with him in spirit.”
Every person you casually sleep with is someone you are united with in the flesh. Talk about bondage!
And let me just add the clincher (I wish I would have really seen these for what they are when I was in my 20s!)
(Mind you my education on abstaining from sex was being given a Snapple bottle cap with a sticker on it that said, “This is your conscience calling,” that I was instructed (by a nun, yes) to click if I got the urge. That was in senior year of high school.)
“Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body. Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own’ you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.”
So if you are fighting to have free sex and abortions whenever, you are are literally fighting for the right to sin against your own body.
To give yourself permission to have sex when you want? To me, that is self-hatred. I know because when I was partaking in it, I hated myself for it.
Yet, there are people who are fighting for the right to abort that you can see all over the news. Their anger is coming from their hearts to me. It’s seeping out of their pores. If that’s not the enemy working in people’s lives with their hate I don’t know what is.
I have said this a ton of times on my podcast and I’m not the only one. Our nation is in a battle for our hearts. Our hearts are what the enemy wants to take away. Literally, anything to keep your heart turned toward the one who created you.
All you have to do is look at the Satanic group fighting for the right to abortion.
Now I’m not a dummy. I know that there are plenty of people today who actually call themselves Satanists. Satan is alive and well. But here’s the thing – he can be plain as day – but HE IS NOT GOING TO WIN and that fight to protect life starts with me.
I have a daughter who is almost three. She is why I realized I am pro-life. She is an absolute miracle. We had about 37 eggs retrieved with IVF and at the end of it all ended up with…one embryo. One.
That is our Ellie.
The first ultrasound where I heard her heartbeat I was absolutely SOLD. I was already pretty pro-life because I believe that God created us and had a life designed for us even before we came into being. But that heartbeat really was the evidence for me. It’s literally – a heartbeat. That’s life. Period.
Let’s just look at the scripture with that. Psalm 139:13:
“For you created my inmost being (He created it. It’s not mine to uncreate.)
you knit me together in my mother’s womb. (It wasn’t me weaving Ellie together in my stomach with my own hands. It was the miracle working power of God that formed every part of her)…
vs 15, “My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place,
when I was woven together in the
depths of the earth.
Your eyes ay my unformed body;
all the days ordained for me were written in your book
before one of them came to be.”
You can be against God all you want but there is your evidence. All of this scripture is TRUTH, not your truth. But THE truth.
So you can fight against it all you want or fight to take life away and have your casual sex, but I believe it’s much less than what God wants for you.
I don’t offer this insight lightly. Like I said, I made bad decisions and I want you not to have to go as far down the road to realize the truth.
I believe God wants you to have a healthy heart, not one that is bruised and broken by sexual sin.
Like I said earlier, we all have to face the decision of whether or not we’re going to deal with our consequences in life. You surely can fight to NOT deal with them, but you will be living to fight for your victimhood instead of living your life to the FULL like God wants for you. He wants you to be the victor OVER your circumstances and decisions, not the victim of them
Whatever you decided to do when you faced this or whatever you decide to do, should you face it, I know He will be there just waiting for you to open that door and let Him into your heart.
You still have a right to have sex casually of abort – because all this ruling did was move it from federal to state level.
But do you want to treat your body like it’s a piece of junk? Because I can tell you right now, it’s worth way more than that.
One more thing, if you haven’t had to make that decision, and you are just fighting for the right to make it, I’m going to pray that your heart gets healing.
I am one who sees someone raging or fighting as someone who has got undressed pain or trauma and I believe that God can use the pain to soften people’s hearts to him who fear there is no hope.
Please don’t find your hope in the right to abort a child. Find it in Jesus. He’ll be there when you are ready. Don’t give the enemy another second of a foothold in your life or your mind or your emotions. Take back your heart and give it to God.
One last thing for those Christians who are struggling with this,
“I have a message from God in my heart
concerning the sinfulness of the
There is no fear of God
before their eyes.
In their own eyes they flatter themselves
too much to detect or hate sin.
The words of their mouths are wicked
they fail to act wisely or do good.
Even on their beds they plot evil;
they commit themselves to a sinful
and do not reject what is wrong.”
Psalm 37: 1-9
“Trust in the Lord and do good;
dwell in the land and enjoy safe
Take delight in the Lord,
and he will give you the desires of your heart.
Commit your way to the Lord;
trust in him and he will do this:
He will make your righteous reward
shine like the dawn,
your vindication like the noonday sun.
Be still before the Lord
and wait patiently for him;
do not fret when people succeed in their
when they carry out their wicked schemes.
Refrain from anger and turn from wrath;
do not fret – it leads only to evil.
For those who are evil will be destroyed,
but those who hope in the Lord will
inherit the land.”