So, last night I posted this image on my Facebook page. I’m reposting it here so I remember it.
This morning in devotion, God was really speaking to me about showing up courageously, authentically. What I didn’t realize, is that I hadn’t completely, and he dealt with me about that. I’m real in my messages, but where I’m missing in authenticity is my ability to just write and roll with it. What do I mean? Well, write to you, the reader – more frequently, instead of trying to make it fit into a perfect day or package. If you follow me, you know I deliver video messages on Wednesdays. These usually come to me a week in advance. I take notes on Monday, and then write out the thoughts on a yellow sheet Tuesday. Then Wednesday I put it on a card and deliver it from the heart. Those messages are important to me. But guess what, they aren’t all I got.
The content is flowing through me and I realize that if I’m only sharing it with myself, it gets hidden in my Evernote. What does that mean? Well, I want to show up more authentically outside the box of Wednesday. I want to write blogs, like this one, from the heart on the day they come to me so you can see where I’m at and maybe meet yourself where you are at.
It’s amazing how when we think we’re being authentic, we’re still trying to perfect that. But it can’t be perfected because it’s about us just being us. So, instead of striving for perfection, I’m going to SHARE my progress. It would be awesome if I could write everyday because I love the accountability of that honestly. But God only knows. All I got is today. So I’m going to write freely, for you, right now from my heart. I’m going to try hard not to save it for a book someday and worry about when I’ll write those, and just give it to you now.
I got to this place with a little help. We get by with a little help from our friends. This morning I talked with a writer friend who just so happened to work at the White House with me in a previous life. She challenged me not to focus on all that writing in the future, and just write for today. We challenged each other to gives ourselves grace to be authentic, which is funny because I was just telling a friend the other day going through a loss to give herself grace. How often we need a dose of our own medicine, right?!
Even this morning, I went to the gym. Since the Spring I’ve been going to a barre studio called B Present. I haven’t talked about it much because I’ve really just been showing up first and foremost. 2 years ago post-surgery I couldn’t even walk around the block. Now I can show up in a way I never thought I could again, and guess what? It’s not perfect. Today I can show up at the gym and know I don’t have the body I had 5 years ago but still appreciate where my body is at and give myself credit for showing up for it.
I have to say going to this place is making a big difference in my ability to give myself grace. I’m around women who are trying to do the same thing, and when you see you aren’t the only one – you fall into grace without even thinking about it. Even today, I had some pain in my shoulder, but told my instructor so I could be accountable to give myself some grace. She helped me do that because it wasn’t about showing up perfect. Mind you, this is the same woman who I wrote about earlier this year, being envious of her success. There’s that grace again. I gave God my envy to work out in me and He gave me grace. I had to push past my own ego and pride, and just show up. (Here’s the blog if you are interested in the backstory.) What he did was awesome. He showed me how to find my courage, push past my fears, and even better? I get to show up without taking these workouts to an extreme or expecting perfection of my body. I get to just take care of it and feel better each day about being in my own skin. That’s grace again.
Funny, here are just a few of the things that spoke to me with this message since last night:
- I found a Blog by Scott Groves, “How Authentic Are you Being?”
- A quote from Seth Godin, “Waiting for perfect is never as smart as making progress.”
- An image of a new tee-shirt from a place called Emerald Sky, “Let us hold ourselves to a standard of grace, not perfection.”
And here was my favorite post from Emily Joy Rosen, from the Institute for the Psychology of Eating:
So what am I saying? I’m saying, how are you going to show up more authentically? Come back tomorrow as I’ll be posting a video message about children of divorce and talking about how they are the missing link in the whole debate about divorce. And after that…
Oh, and since I can’t not share music….I just found this music artist on Spotify this morning and it is AWESOME. I have found my new favorite writing band.