I want to talk to you in this fourth installment of the trauma series about “Why blame is a heart issue.” So let’s just get started. This past weekend we got two of our older kids ready to take their next steps – one back to college for sophomore year and one to her new…

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We’ve got a little less than a week till Thanksgiving. Some of us are starting to get stressed or antsy with everything we have to do. We’re also getting anxious about the family we’ll be with or our hearts are heavy about the ones we won’t. It’s important at these times to recognize where we’re at and process our emotions instead of run from them. In fact, the holidays really can be the best time for us to see where we still need healing in our life. They are an opportunity for growth.

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Fathers and daughters share a special bond. Moms and daughters do too of course. But there is just something about dads and daughters. It’s special. it’s something that doesn’t go away, ever. It’s a love that makes you always feel protected, cared for, loved, admired and understood. It’s an example of how the Father loves us. Or if it doesn’t exist, it’s a way for God to fill in the cracks and love us like we’ve never understood.

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The father hole in our soul was never meant to be filled to completion by our earthly fathers and always meant to be filled by our heavenly father. To be in relationship with our heavenly father helps us when we all someday lose our Dads. 

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One of my recent realizations that feels like it’s taken me ten years to come to is that I don’t need to say, “I’m gonna write a book about that some day,” I just need to write. I hear friends talk about the everyday life stuff they go through, sharing what you don’t see on Facebook and it’s just proof that we’re all going through stuff and we all need to talk about ALL of it.

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Life is all about transformation, constant transformation. We grow in one thing and spread out wings in another. In some aspects we’re a caterpillar and in others we’re in the cocoon, and yet in others we ARE a butterfly. I began this condo journey as a young caterpillar. I went into a cocoon to become spiritually broken, renewed and begin a maturing process. And now in a way, I get to be a butterfly.

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I guess I had to share this because it’s not often I feel this deeply connected to the loss of someone I did not know. I also can’t help but think of every single person who loved her especially her husband and her sons. There is no doubt I will be thinking of this family on the day my brother graduates this weekend.

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